There’s something about the end of the year that can make even the most organised amongst us feel breathless. The calendar fills up, expectations multiply, and suddenly we’re navigating a season that’s meant to be restorative but often feels like anything but.
Research tells us that 38% of people experience increased stress during the holidays, with only 8% reporting decreased stress during this time. Here in Australia, data from the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare shows trends of higher suicide rates in December and January, often associated with mental stress, depression, and financial pressures. The thing is, we’re often operating from a script we didn’t write ourselves. What if this year, we gave ourselves permission to assess what we genuinely need?
Understanding What Rest Actually Means
When we think about rest, most of us default to sleep or perhaps a day off work. But rest is far more nuanced than that. Research identifies seven distinct types of rest that we all need in varying degrees: physical, mental, emotional, social, sensory, creative, and spiritual.
Physical rest includes both sleep and gentle movement. Mental rest addresses that feeling when you can’t switch off your thoughts. Emotional rest is about having space to express your authentic feelings without editing them for others’ comfort. Social rest recognises that some interactions energise us whilst others deplete us. Sensory rest gives relief from constant screens and noise. Creative rest replenishes your capacity for problem-solving. Spiritual rest connects you to something beyond the everyday that gives you purpose.
Different circumstances predispose you to deficits in certain areas. Someone managing extensive family dynamics might desperately need social rest, whilst someone in a demanding cognitive role might be running on empty mentally. The World Health Organization defines self-care as the ability to promote and maintain health with or without healthcare provider support. Understanding which types of rest you’re lacking is the foundation of genuine self-care.
Assessing Your Current State
Taking stock doesn’t require a lengthy process, just honest reflection. Consider each type of rest. Where are you running on empty? Notice patterns without judgment. Perhaps you realised you don’t need more alone time but rather more meaningful connection. Maybe you’re socially fulfilled but mentally exhausted. This awareness helps you make informed choices rather than defaulting to what you think you “should” want.
Ask yourself: Which holiday activities genuinely restore me? Which drain me but I do anyway? What would I miss if I didn’t do it? What would feel like relief to skip? These questions help distinguish between genuine traditions and obligations.
Identifying Your Core Values
Research on holiday traditions and mental health emphasises the importance of reflecting on what you and your loved ones genuinely cherish. Is it togetherness, generosity, reflection, creativity, or simply rest? Pinpointing core values serves as a foundation for making choices that align with what matters rather than succumbing to external pressure.
Your values might differ from societal expectations or even from what you’ve done previously. That’s not only acceptable but necessary for creating a season that supports your wellbeing. When we’re clear about our values, decisions become easier. Does this gathering align with what I value? Does this tradition still serve me? These aren’t selfish questions; they’re essential ones.
Permission to Do Things Differently
Here’s something important: you don’t need to begrudgingly engage in traditions just because you’ve always done them. Traditions can be adapted, combined with new elements, or released entirely for creating your own holiday season. This isn’t about discarding meaning but rather ensuring your celebrations actually create the connection and restoration they’re intended to provide.
Consider what boundaries might support your wellbeing. Boundaries serve as protective shields around our limited resources like money, time, energy, and emotional capacity. Setting boundaries isn’t about being difficult; it’s about making choices based on your values rather than emotions or external pressure. You can read more information about healthy boundaries in our previous blog post: Understanding Boundaries.
You might decide to attend gatherings for shorter periods, decline certain invitations, scale back gift-giving, or create entirely new traditions. You might choose connection over perfection, presence over presents, or rest over productivity. Beyond Blue suggests focusing on creating positive memories rather than competing with societal expectations about how holidays should look.
Creating What You Need
Once you understand your rest deficits and core values, you can intentionally design your holiday season. This might look like scheduling downtime between social commitments. It could mean establishing new traditions that reflect your current circumstances rather than past patterns. Perhaps it involves having honest conversations with loved ones about adjusting expectations.
Creating a list of genuinely enjoyable activities can help you feel less overwhelmed and more grounded. This isn’t about filling every moment but rather about being intentional with your time and energy.
Remember that adapting traditions can be healing, especially after significant life changes. You’re not abandoning meaning; you’re creating space for it to exist in a way that supports rather than depletes you.
Moving Forward
The pressure to create the “perfect” holiday affects many of us, but perfection isn’t the goal. Connection, rest, and alignment with your values matter more than meeting external expectations. Your holiday season is yours to shape.
When you’re ready to explore support in navigating life’s challenges, including the complexities of seasonal stress and family dynamics, we’re here. Creating a season that genuinely serves you isn’t selfish; it’s essential for your wellbeing and your capacity to show up authentically in your relationships.
What would your holiday season look like if you gave yourself permission to do it differently?
This information is provided for educational purposes and does not constitute individual professional advice. For personalised assessment and treatment planning regarding anxiety support, please consult with a qualified mental health professional. All treatment approaches mentioned are delivered in accordance with professional ethical guidelines and evidence-based practice standards.
